The Art of Managing All Kinds of Relationships… Summary of How To Win Friends & Influence People.

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People are the greatest asset for any company, and the relationships that we form are of great importance. However, there are many obstacles in developing good bonds with people, and it is a different art itself. Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends & Influence People is a great read for anyone of you, irrespective of your occupation, age, demography. The book is a great summary analyzing the core of human nature, and how we should shape our lives to make good friends and develop great relationships.

The following points are directly quoted from the book and presented in a summarized manner. We strongly urge you to read the book as it explains these concepts with clear real world examples through which we can learn a lot. The book contains rich real world examples on how these concepts have been used really effectively.

The intent of this article is to provide you a feel of the book and its importance so that you will be motivated towards reading.

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

  • Principle 1 - Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
  • Principle 2 - Give honest & sincere appreciation.
  • Principle 3 - Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Six Ways to Make People Like You

  • Principle 1 - Become genuinely interested in other people.
  • Principle 2 - Smile.
  • Principle 3 - Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most importance sound in any language.
  • Principle 4 - Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
  • Principle 5 - Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
  • Principle 6 - Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely.

Win People to Your Way of Thinking

  • Principle 1 - The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
  • Principle 2 - Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong”.
  • Principle 3 - If you are wrong, admit it quickly & emphatically.
  • Principle 4 - Begin in a friendly way.
  • Principle 5 - Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
  • Principle 6 - Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
  • Principle 7 - Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
  • Principle 8 - Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
  • Principle 9 - Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas & desires.
  • Principle 10 - Appeal to the nobler motives.
  • Principle 11 - Dramatize your ideas.
  • Principle 12 - Throw down a challenge.

Be a Leader

A leader’s job often includes changing your people’s attitudes & behavior. Some suggestions to accomplish this.

  • Principle 1 - begin with praise & honest appreciation
  • Principle 2 - Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
  • Principle 3 - Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
  • Principle 4 - Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
  • Principle 5 - Let other person save face.
  • Principle 6 - Praise the slightest improvement & praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise”.
  • Principle 7 - Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
  • Principle 8 - Use encouragement. Make the fast seem easy to correct.
  • Principle 9 - Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

Seven Rules for Making Your Home Life Happier

  • Rule 1 - Don’t nag.
  • Rule 2 - Don’t try to make your partner over.
  • Rule 3 - Don’t criticize.
  • Rule 4 - Give honest appreciation.
  • Rule 5 - Pay little attentions.
  • Rule 6 - Be courteous.
  • Rule 7 - Read a good book on the sexual side of marriage.